This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared stories, tips, and struggles relating to their children's personal care choices.
Somewhere along the line when Gumby was around 2.5 she started hating baths. Loathing them, really and straight out refusing to be in the tub. I think I put her in a few times when the water was too hot and I also figured out she *hated* when she would get her hair washed and the water would drip down her face. I'm guessing part of the problem was normal toddler stuff as well. She enjoyed swimming, and calling the tub our "indoor pool" worked for a very short time. And then, it didn't. It was summer and she was getting frequent chlorine baths at the local pool and we figured the phase would pass. It didn't.
Eventually, we were able to establish a bath routine with which she felt comfortable. Here are some things that were helpful for us.
First, the really helpful items:
1. Routine
We are a very "go with the flow" family and have a difficult time sticking to any type of routine. It makes sense that kids feel more comfortable when things are familiar and they know what to expect. We were desperate, so we implemented a few bath days and designated 'hair washing' days, and we stuck to them . She hated it, so we went slow, not trying for every single day. Routines removes choices when choices become a problem (ie: do you want to have a bath in the little bathroom or big bathroom ... answer: 'I don't want to have a bath anywhere.') The routine cut down on arguing with us about having a bath. It is simply bath time because that is what it is. It's not randomly thrown into the day, but designated and we can look on the calendar and know when exactly it is. Feelings and expressions of disapproval and upset were acknowledged with empathy, but in the end, it was bath day.
2. Just for Fun
The goal was just go get Gumby into the tub. Seriously. On many of the bath days after our new routine started, they were 'just for fun'. She didn't have to get wet, soapy, etc. We just wanted her to feel comfortable being in the tub. Maybe even play a little.
3. Stool to sit on
Gumby did not want to touch the water. At all. We took her step stool into the tub to use as a seat. A dry seat. Towels required in case of a droplet of water hitting her seat. She could sit with her feet on the stool and put them into the water when/if she was ready.
4. Sponge baths
We had to keep her clean'ish somehow! :)
These things are also fun and helpful:
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| Gumby happy suds-ing up |
5. Songs
The hair washing was the biggest challenge. Even with a little visor hat to keep the water out and telling her to look up, it only takes a moment of her looking down for the water to flood her face resulting in much upset. We have a silly little song that we sing while we wash Gumby's hair. She looks forward to it and it seems to help. She even smiles now (months later) during hair washes!
6. Predictability & Narration
Since she dreaded the hair washing so very, very much, we thought it would be helpful to let her know what would be next and when it would be over. We tell her we're going to wet her hair with six cup fulls of water. We count them with her. We also tell her right where they will be going. "This one is going down the top! Look up up up!" "Here comes the next one down this side." ... the narration goes with our silly song.
7. Toys
Not just bath toys, but any toys. We let her choose animals that may need baths, containers for pouring, boats or the many uses of a container, blocks, etc... anything a little different to keep it interesting and fun.
8. Paint
Gumby may not want soap on herself, but she loves painting herself. Don't mention that the paint is food coloring and bubble bath soap. :)
9. Themes
We've only done this a little bit with adding food coloring to the water and one with balloons in the tub. You can actually find a lot of really cool themed baths for kids online.
10. Location
Once we established a routine and that bath time was going to happen, we found that Gumby did have a preference on which tub to use. The corner tub in the master bathroom is more open and larger and she had a clear preference for that one over the one that we used to use all the time ... you know, the one where I made the water too hot and then poured it over her face to wash her hair ;)
What tips do you have for bathing kiddos' that do not want any part of the water/tub?
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Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon April 10 with all the carnival links.)
- Rub-a-Dub Co-Bathing in Our Tub — Bath time is more than soap and water! That Mama Gretchen shares how co-bathing with her toddler has opened up a world of cleanliness, learning, and bonding.
- This is How We Take a Bath — Shannon at GrowingSlower shares her special formulas for babywash and a happy bath time.
- How to Gently Trim Your Toddler's Nails — Shannon at The Artful Mama discusses some of the gentle suggestions she has received to help Little Man overcome his anxiety of having his nails trimmed, as well as how she copes with her need for his nails to be trimmed.
- Baby bath time and skin care — Ursula Ciller shares some simple and natural tips for bathing and skin care.
- Want Your Child To Love Getting Clean? Have Them Make Their Own Soaps, Shampoos, and Lotions! — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares her secret to empowering her daughter to "get clean." Together, Jennifer and her daughter make their own body washes and lotions which makes clean up time fun!
- Encouraging Self-care Through Awareness... and Fun — Amy at Presence Parenting shares some tips on how to transform self-care from a struggle into an opportunity -- for kids and adults.
- Caring for kids' curls — Lauren at Hobo Mama tells you how to clean, condition, comb, and style ringlets and waves on little heads.
- Playing in the Rain — Jorje of Momma Jorje loves how her family has come to make a family event of showering!
- The Cleansing Power of the Football — Rachel at Lautaret Bohemiet talks about her son's favorite bath buddy.
- Coconut Oil: Nature's "Baby Magic" — Megan at The Boho Mama has only one must-have baby care item in her cupboard: Coconut Oil!
- For Sensitive Kids, Less Is More — Kadiera at Our Little Acorn finds less cleaning is better.
- Bathtime: Just Another Chance to Play! — Lyndsay at Our Feminist {Play} School discusses the many reasons bath time is important - getting clean isn't one of them.
- Hygiene? What hygiene? — Sheila at A Gift Universe confesses some of her most embarrassing hygiene secrets.
- Confused About Chemicals? — Jaye Anne at Wide Awake, Half Asleep describes how to find out where the toxic chemicals are in your house and tips on alternatives.
- Clipping Those Talons — ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings describes the ways her daughter's tolerance for personal care has changed over time, especially when it comes to nail clipping.
- Sit Back, Relax and Unschool Hygiene — Instead of focusing on tactics of how to 'get' your child to focus on hygiene, Authentic Parenting explains how to help your child internalize hygienic standards.
- Help! My Tot will not let me brush her teeth! — Mudpiemama shares five positive ways to help toddlers brush teeth and sabotage the tooth fairy’s secret conspiracy.
- Self Care and the Spirited Child — Amy at Toddler In Tow shares how a balancing act between independence and connectedness helps her spirited child learn appropriate self-care.
- Hairbrushing is a Safety Issue — Dulce de leche guest posting at Natural Parents Network explains that although tangles are not a safety issue, self-confidence and body boundaries are.
- 15 Ideas to Prepare Toddlers and Preschoolers for Dental Procedures — Dionna at Code Name: Mama is sharing ideas on how to thoughtfully prepare little ones for dental visits (particularly those that require anesthesia).
- Holistic Care of your Toddler's Teeth — Erica at ChildOrganics tells a tale of her children's teeth issues and how she uses homeopathy and good nutrition to keep cavities at bay.
- Bath Time Bliss : Fuss-Free Bath Time for Toddlers — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares how she has made bath time completely fuss free for both her and her toddler.
- Homemade Natural Toothpaste — City Kids Homeschooling hosts a guest post on a homemade natural toothpaste recipe that kids will love!
- Bathing Strike Strategies — Crunchy Con Mommy offers her best tips for keeping your little ones clean when they refuse to bathe.
- Bodily Autonomy and Personal Hygeine — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children discusses the importance of supporting a child's bodily autonomy in the prevention of abuse.
- A Tub Full of Kiddos! — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment has kiddos who love the water, so bathtime is a favorite evening activity!
- The Trials of Tidying My Toddler — Adrienne at Mommying My Way shares the difficulties she has with getting her on-the-go son to be still enough to get clean.
- Wiped Clean — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen shares her recipe for homemade diaper wipe solution to clean those sweet little cloth diapered bottoms in her home!
- Snug in a Towel: Embracing Personal Grooming — Personal care is time consuming,especially with more than one child; but the mama at Our Muddy Boots is learning to embrace this fleeting and needful time.
- EC: All or Nothing? — Elimination Communication. Even the title sounds complicated and time consuming. It doesn't have to, if you adapt it to meet your family's needs, says Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy.
- Routine Battles — In a guest post at Anktangle, Jorje of Momma Jorje outlines a simple incentive to help inspire your little one to follow a routine.
- Redefining Beauty For My Daughter — Justine at The Lone Home Ranger relays her struggle to define her own femininity and how her preschooler unexpectedly taught her a lesson in true beauty.
- Rub-A-Dub-Dub, Three Girls In The Tub — Chrystal at Happy Mothering shares how she turns bath time into a few minutes of peace and quiet.
- Montessori-Inspired Activities for Care of Self — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now has a roundup of Montessori-inspired activities for care of self and ideas for home environments that encourage independence.
- 10 Gentle Tips for Little Ones Who Hate the Bath — Kim at life-is-learning gives 10 tips to get your little one into the bath and maybe even enjoying it.
- The Boy With The Long Hair — Liam at In The Now discusses his son's grooming choices.
- Personal Care in a Montessori Home — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings shares a summary of the ways she has organized her family's home to make for easy, Montessori-inspired toddler personal care.
- Styling Kids — Kellie at Our Mindful Life is letting her kids decide what to look like.
- Clean Kids: Laundry and Bath Tips — Kimberly at Homeschooling in Nova Scotia shares tips on how to get your children helping with laundry plus recipes for laundry and liquid soap.
- How to Clean Your Children Naturally: A Tutorial — Erika at Cinco de Mommy shows you how to clean your children.
- Cleaniliness is next to... dirt — The lapse-prone eco-mom (Kenna at Million Tiny Things) sometimes forgets to bathe the kids. Except in the mud pit.
