Ten Reasons I Choose to Nurse Past Infancy

This was originally published as a guest post on one of my favorite blogs about a year ago.
One year later, these ten reasons are still applicable.

When I was pregnant, it seemed like everyone wanted to know if I was going to nurse and then for how long. I don't think I even knew humans breastfed prior to becoming pregnant; I had never seen it, but for some reason, my answer to the questions was always "Yes, I'm going to give breastfeeding a try for at least six months and then it depends on how it goes after the baby gets teeth." For some reason, I was doubtful and kept those free formula samples in the cupboard "just incase" (never did use them). I had read about the risks of feeding babies with formula and I knew I wanted to give breastfeeding a try. What I didn't know was about the amazing aspects of a nursing relationship *other* than food. We have blown past 6 months, 12 months and 24 months. I definitely didn't plan on extended nursing, but why stop a good thing? We wean when she is ready. Gumby still nurses very often and we both absolutely love our special time together.

1. Bonding, Cuddling and Snuggling Time
As your little angel gets more and more mobile, you may find that the little baby that wanted held and snuggled and rocked begins to change into a little toddler that can't stop moving! Gumby is always on the go, and nursing the little squirmy critter that seemed to somehow grow eight eight-feet long legs is how she got her nickname Gumby the Octopus. But sometimes, that little octopus of mine retracts her extra legs and just wants to lay and nurse. Sometimes she runs her hands over my face; sometimes she wants me to sing to her; sometimes she wants me to hold her and hug her as tight as I can while I'm mooching her; sometimes she just gazes lovingly into my eyes ... and, all times, I melt and am so grateful for our special time together.

2. A Soothing and Calming Experience

Christmas Morning Cuddles, Gumby age 27 months.

When I nurse Gumby, there is a certain calm and peacefulness that enters into both of us. Science will tell you that it is because of the hormone prolactin that is released during nursing and that the act of nursing blocks stress receptors, but I think it is so much more. Nursing a toddler continues to be about, not just feeding, but also about nurturing the relationship between mother and child, just as it was with an infant.

3. A Way to Reconnect

Anytime I am gone from Gumby, when I return, I am greeted with a vivacious "I need nummies!" Whatever it is she was doing is immediately stopped. Whatever thoughts or negativity that I returned with are put aside. Our focus is soley one each other. It is almost as if we were never apart. With mamma's milk flows the hormone oxytocin which releases feelings of love and nurturing.

Nursing also helps promote reconnections during the day. Sometimes toddlers and mamma's do not quite see eye to eye on everything; sometimes the two of us have what I call an "off" kind of day where we just can't seem to get on the same page with each othes. Whatever the case may be nursing serves as a wonderful time for us to stop what we are doing and just remind each other and ourselves that we love each other.

4. Finally Confident Enough

Nusring Gumby at 22 months on a bench at a Zoo.

It took me until Gumby was 3 months old to stop hiding to nurse. I spent so many of her early days, hiding in the bedroom when visitors would come. Not because I was embarrassed, I have always been proud of breastfeeding my baby. But, I have also been a very private person. I don't even like V-neck shirts. But, as Gumby grew, I, too, grew ... and got tired of sitting in a room alone. I finally realized that I could nurse discreeting, protecting my privacy, but also any time and any place in order to meet my baby's needs. Okay, so maybe it didn't take me until she was considered a toddler, but the longer we nurse, the more confident I am, both in my actions and my decisions.

5. Dental Benefits
Breastfeeding itself requires the use of different facial muscles than sucking on a bottle or pacifier. The exercising of these muscles results in better jaw alignment and a lowered need for future orthodontic work.¹ Breastmilk contains lactoferrin which kills the bacteria that causes tooth decay. In addition, the milk proteins coat and protect the enamel. I am not saying this is a substitute for regular brushing, but I am saying that toddlers have teeth and this can't hurt.² As a side note to anyone who may be worried about nursing a little one with teeth ... it is physically impossible to nurse AND bite at the same time ;)

6. No Other Lovies Needed
Gumby doesn't really have a favorite toy, blankie, etc. If we go somewhere, while we do pack things and sometimes it seems as though we pack the entire house, there isn't any one item that we really need to remember to take with us. Whether she makes the request "Nummies go too." or she doesn't, nummies go too. I have never left home without them.

7. Health Benefits for Mom

Still Happily Nursing at 29 Months :)

Besides the fact that Gumby was over 2 when my ol' Aunt Flo came to visit for the first time in a long time, breastfeeding lowers the risk of several cancers (breast, ovarian, uterine, endometrial), rheumatoid arthritis, and protects against osteoporosis.⁵ Often, the health benefits continue to increase the longer nursing is continued.

8. Health benefits for toddler

The same reasons that mother nature designed breastmilk for infants still applies for as long as the child nurses. They will continue to have less illnesses, fewer ear infections, fewer allergies, lowered risk of asthma, lowered risk of obesity, lowered risk of diabetes, lowered risk of heart disease, lowered risk for central nervous system degenerative disorders, lowered risk of digestive diseases, lowered risk of multiple sclerosis, lowered risk for sleep apnea, better eyesight, and increased cognitive development.^{3, 4, 5}

9. In Times of Sickness

Breastmilk is alive and changing all of the time. As toddlers become more active and social in the word, they are exposed to more germs and potentially illesses. Should a toddler pick up a virus, it will be transfered to the mother while nursing. Not that mom will get sick (though she may through any of the close contact that comes with having a little one), but her body will make the antibodies *on the spot* and pass back to the toddler via breastmilk. This could happen before your nursling even shows signs of illness. Breastmilk is very gentle on the stomach and intestines. It provides a protective lining against germs in the intestines. It could be the only thing your little one wants to consume and/or can hold down. All of this, in addition to the emotional closeness and comfort.

10. Comforting an Upset Toddler

Over the summer, we were on vacation and staying at a hotel. We had just finished swimming, but Gumby still had some energy to run off, so we were in the common area playing and she was running around. And then, it happened. She took off at full speed and turned, smacking her forehead right into the corner of a table. It grounded her instantly and she screamed like I had not heard before. We sat right down to nurse, while Deeda tried to figure out what to do next. She was so upset; and, have you ever seen forehead bumps swell? They swell right before your eyes and look horrible. But, she latched on. The screams turned to whimpers and the whimpers turned to calm... within *minutes*. I was grateful to be able to sooth her when she was so upset and in so much pain. Toddlers fall. The comforting aspects of nursing are still very neccessary at this age.

References:

1. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T020500.asp
2. http://www.kellymom.com/bf/older-baby/tooth-decay.html
3. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T020400.asp
4. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T020500.asp
5. http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

10 Gentle Tips for Kids Who Hate the Bath

Welcome to the April 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Kids and Personal Care
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared stories, tips, and struggles relating to their children's personal care choices.


Somewhere along the line when Gumby was around 2.5 she started hating baths.  Loathing them, really and straight out refusing to be in the tub.  I think I put her in a few times when the water was too hot and I also figured out she *hated* when she would get her hair washed and the water would drip down her face.  I'm guessing part of the problem was normal toddler stuff as well. She enjoyed swimming, and calling the tub our "indoor pool" worked for a very short time.  And then, it didn't.  It was summer and she was getting frequent chlorine baths at the local pool and we figured the phase would pass.  It didn't. 
Eventually, we were able to establish a bath routine with which she felt comfortable.  Here are some things that were helpful for us.

First, the really helpful items:

1. Routine
We are a very "go with the flow" family and have a difficult time sticking to any type of routine.  It makes sense that kids feel more comfortable when things are familiar and they know what to expect.  We were desperate, so we implemented a few bath days and designated 'hair washing' days, and we stuck to them .  She hated it, so we went slow, not trying for every single day.  Routines removes choices when choices become a problem (ie: do you want to have a bath in the little bathroom or big bathroom ... answer: 'I don't want to have a bath anywhere.') The routine cut down on arguing with us about having a bath.  It is simply bath time because that is what it is.  It's not randomly thrown into the day, but designated and we can look on the calendar and know when exactly it is.  Feelings and expressions of disapproval and upset were acknowledged with empathy, but in the end, it was bath day.

2. Just for Fun
The goal was just go get Gumby into the tub.  Seriously.  On many of the bath days after our new routine started, they were 'just for fun'.  She didn't have to get wet, soapy, etc.  We just wanted her to feel comfortable being in the tub.  Maybe even play a little. 

3. Stool to sit on
Gumby did not want to touch the water.  At all.  We took her step stool into the tub to use as a seat.  A dry seat.  Towels required in case of a droplet of water hitting her seat.  She could sit with her feet on the stool and put them into the water when/if she was ready.

4. Sponge baths
We had to keep her clean'ish somehow! :)

These things are also fun and helpful:

Gumby happy suds-ing up

5. Songs
The hair washing was the biggest challenge.  Even with a little visor hat to keep the water out and telling her to look up, it only takes a moment of her looking down for the water to flood her face resulting in much upset.  We have a silly little song that we sing while we wash Gumby's hair.  She looks forward to it and it seems to help.  She even smiles now (months later) during hair washes!

6. Predictability & Narration
Since she dreaded the hair washing so very, very much, we thought it would be helpful to let her know what would be next and when it would be over.  We tell her we're going to wet her hair with six cup fulls of water.  We count them with her.  We also tell her right where they will be going.  "This one is going down the top!  Look up up up!"  "Here comes the next one down this side." ... the narration goes with our silly song.

7. Toys
Not just bath toys, but any toys.   We let her choose animals that may need baths, containers for pouring, boats or the many uses of a container, blocks, etc... anything a little different to keep it interesting and fun.

8. Paint
Gumby may not want soap on herself, but she loves painting herself.  Don't mention that the paint is food coloring and bubble bath soap.  :)

9. Themes
We've only done this a little bit with adding food coloring to the water and one with balloons in the tub.  You can actually find a lot of really cool themed baths for kids online. 

10. Location
Once we established a routine and that bath time was going to happen, we found that Gumby did have a preference on which tub to use.  The corner tub in the master bathroom is more open and larger and she had a clear preference for that one over the one that we used to use all the time ... you know, the one where I made the water too hot and then poured it over her face to wash her hair ;)

What tips do you have for bathing kiddos' that do not want any part of the water/tub?

***

Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon April 10 with all the carnival links.)

• Rub-a-Dub Co-Bathing in Our Tub — Bath time is more than soap and water! That Mama Gretchen shares how co-bathing with her toddler has opened up a world of cleanliness, learning, and bonding.
• This is How We Take a Bath — Shannon at GrowingSlower shares her special formulas for babywash and a happy bath time.
• How to Gently Trim Your Toddler's Nails — Shannon at The Artful Mama discusses some of the gentle suggestions she has received to help Little Man overcome his anxiety of having his nails trimmed, as well as how she copes with her need for his nails to be trimmed.
• Baby bath time and skin care — Ursula Ciller shares some simple and natural tips for bathing and skin care.
• Want Your Child To Love Getting Clean? Have Them Make Their Own Soaps, Shampoos, and Lotions! — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares her secret to empowering her daughter to "get clean." Together, Jennifer and her daughter make their own body washes and lotions which makes clean up time fun!
• Encouraging Self-care Through Awareness... and Fun — Amy at Presence Parenting shares some tips on how to transform self-care from a struggle into an opportunity -- for kids and adults.
• Caring for kids' curls — Lauren at Hobo Mama tells you how to clean, condition, comb, and style ringlets and waves on little heads.
• Playing in the Rain — Jorje of Momma Jorje loves how her family has come to make a family event of showering!
• The Cleansing Power of the Football — Rachel at Lautaret Bohemiet talks about her son's favorite bath buddy.
• Coconut Oil: Nature's "Baby Magic" — Megan at The Boho Mama has only one must-have baby care item in her cupboard: Coconut Oil!
• For Sensitive Kids, Less Is More — Kadiera at Our Little Acorn finds less cleaning is better.
• Bathtime: Just Another Chance to Play! — Lyndsay at Our Feminist {Play} School discusses the many reasons bath time is important - getting clean isn't one of them.
• Hygiene? What hygiene? — Sheila at A Gift Universe confesses some of her most embarrassing hygiene secrets.
• Confused About Chemicals? — Jaye Anne at Wide Awake, Half Asleep describes how to find out where the toxic chemicals are in your house and tips on alternatives.
• Clipping Those Talons — ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings describes the ways her daughter's tolerance for personal care has changed over time, especially when it comes to nail clipping.
• Sit Back, Relax and Unschool Hygiene — Instead of focusing on tactics of how to 'get' your child to focus on hygiene, Authentic Parenting explains how to help your child internalize hygienic standards.
• Help! My Tot will not let me brush her teeth! — Mudpiemama shares five positive ways to help toddlers brush teeth and sabotage the tooth fairy’s secret conspiracy.
• Self Care and the Spirited Child — Amy at Toddler In Tow shares how a balancing act between independence and connectedness helps her spirited child learn appropriate self-care.
• Hairbrushing is a Safety Issue — Dulce de leche guest posting at Natural Parents Network explains that although tangles are not a safety issue, self-confidence and body boundaries are.
• 15 Ideas to Prepare Toddlers and Preschoolers for Dental Procedures — Dionna at Code Name: Mama is sharing ideas on how to thoughtfully prepare little ones for dental visits (particularly those that require anesthesia).

• Holistic Care of your Toddler's Teeth — Erica at ChildOrganics tells a tale of her children's teeth issues and how she uses homeopathy and good nutrition to keep cavities at bay.
• Bath Time Bliss : Fuss-Free Bath Time for Toddlers — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares how she has made bath time completely fuss free for both her and her toddler.
• Homemade Natural Toothpaste — City Kids Homeschooling hosts a guest post on a homemade natural toothpaste recipe that kids will love!
• Bathing Strike Strategies — Crunchy Con Mommy offers her best tips for keeping your little ones clean when they refuse to bathe.
• Bodily Autonomy and Personal Hygeine — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children discusses the importance of supporting a child's bodily autonomy in the prevention of abuse.
• A Tub Full of Kiddos! — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment has kiddos who love the water, so bathtime is a favorite evening activity!
• The Trials of Tidying My Toddler — Adrienne at Mommying My Way shares the difficulties she has with getting her on-the-go son to be still enough to get clean.
• Wiped Clean — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen shares her recipe for homemade diaper wipe solution to clean those sweet little cloth diapered bottoms in her home!
• Snug in a Towel: Embracing Personal Grooming — Personal care is time consuming,especially with more than one child; but the mama at Our Muddy Boots is learning to embrace this fleeting and needful time.
• EC: All or Nothing? — Elimination Communication. Even the title sounds complicated and time consuming. It doesn't have to, if you adapt it to meet your family's needs, says Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy.
• Routine Battles — In a guest post at Anktangle, Jorje of Momma Jorje outlines a simple incentive to help inspire your little one to follow a routine.
• Redefining Beauty For My Daughter — Justine at The Lone Home Ranger relays her struggle to define her own femininity and how her preschooler unexpectedly taught her a lesson in true beauty.
• Rub-A-Dub-Dub, Three Girls In The Tub — Chrystal at Happy Mothering shares how she turns bath time into a few minutes of peace and quiet.
• Montessori-Inspired Activities for Care of Self — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now has a roundup of Montessori-inspired activities for care of self and ideas for home environments that encourage independence.
• 10 Gentle Tips for Little Ones Who Hate the Bath — Kim at life-is-learning gives 10 tips to get your little one into the bath and maybe even enjoying it.
• The Boy With The Long Hair — Liam at In The Now discusses his son's grooming choices.
• Personal Care in a Montessori Home — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings shares a summary of the ways she has organized her family's home to make for easy, Montessori-inspired toddler personal care.
• Styling Kids — Kellie at Our Mindful Life is letting her kids decide what to look like.
• Clean Kids: Laundry and Bath Tips — Kimberly at Homeschooling in Nova Scotia shares tips on how to get your children helping with laundry plus recipes for laundry and liquid soap.
• How to Clean Your Children Naturally: A Tutorial — Erika at Cinco de Mommy shows you how to clean your children.
• Cleaniliness is next to... dirt — The lapse-prone eco-mom (Kenna at Million Tiny Things) sometimes forgets to bathe the kids. Except in the mud pit.

Ten Reasons I Choose to Nurse My Toddler...

When I was pregnant, it seemed like everyone wanted to know if I was going to nurse and then for how long.  I don't think I even knew humans breastfed prior to becoming pregnant; I had never seen it, but for some reason, my answer to the questions was always "Yes, I'm going to give breastfeeding a try for at least six months and then it depends on how it goes after the baby gets teeth."  For some reason, I was doubtful and kept those free formula samples in the cupboard "just incase" (never did use them).  I had read about the risks of feeding babies with formula and I knew I wanted to give breastfeeding a try.  What I didn't know was about the amazing aspects of a nursing relationship *other* than food.  We have blown past 6 months, 12 months and 24 months.  I definitely didn't plan on extended nursing, but why stop a good thing?  We will wean when she is ready.  Gumby still nurses very often and we both absolutely love our special time together. 

For 10 reasons why extended nursing is important to us, head over to my guest post on one of my favorite blogs Code Name: Mama! :)